Wednesday, December 4, 2013

It was a Dark and Stormy Night and….Keksy DESERVES the Cookies

Just a bit before Nicole left, we decided to go to a restaurant.  We wanted a dinner out.  We remembered a place that our friend pointed to and said it was their favorite restaurant, or so we thought.  So we tried to go there.  We sat down just as the rain began to REALLY pour.  They brought us a menu and we ordered drinks.  The waiter came back and told us that a few things on the menu they don’t have.  We told them, of course, that is ok.  We will just try to order things and they can tell us what they don’t have on the menu.  Great says the waiter!

So, we wait for a while and think we know.  I ask for item 4 or something, the quarter chicken and chips.  They write it down.  Then Nicole asked for sambusa with chappati and beans and peas.  They say they have no sambusa.  Oh, darn.  Well, do you have the beans and peas?  Nope.  Oh, well do you have chappati and greens?  No chappati.  Ok….well what about chips and greens.  No greens.  Really?  (It was round about here that we started laughing and couldn’t stop as the whole thing progressed.)  But chips?  No chips.  Now wait a minute, I ordered chicken and chips before.  But you have no chips?  No chips.  OOOOOOKKKKKKK.  Let’s start over.  What DO you have?  Eggs. 

They have…eggs. 

REALLY?  Ok.  We finish our drinks and leave for a much nicer place around the corner where we both have the best brochette we have had in Rwanda, her fish and me lamb, and that is really saying something.

It turns out that our friend who was the one to point at, seemingly, this place, really just meant to point in that direction and the real place was still like a half mile away.  We find this out because Nicole and I take my friend out for dinner before Nicole leaves.

But, what about the inexplicable service and menu at this other place???!!!  I asked my friend if this had something to do with being a muzungu.  She said no, that this just happens sometimes.  What the hell?!!?!?!  It was really hilarious though as the questioning progressed.  The restaurant with no food – LOL!  They regretted it as more and more people “poured” in to get out of the rain (no pun intended).

This happened to be the same night that….

OK, so we arrive home after dark after this dinner and are a couple of beers in and feeling happy and full and tired.  The Austrians and Keksy were still here, Keksy needed a number of things as soon as possible to decide whether she can come eventually to Germany or Austria or Europe anywhere:  many vaccinations and she needed to be chipped.  All of these were an issue because she was still so skittish and afraid.  Even though I spent so much time with her and she behaved, she would still nip at me if I touched her flank, her sore ear, or tried to put the collar on her.

So, the night when the Austrians paid extra to have a vet come and do this at the home was like a nightmare.  First, it was already dark.  Second, they needed to put on a muzzle.  I tried to hide in my room.  It didn’t work:

1.     It was actually a stormy night.  REALLY?  This night has to be thundering?

2.     The power then went out.  It was totally dark.  We didn’t even have a candle, only our cell phones.

3.     The muzzle and collar were on but the Austrians could only cope while the power was on.  So the vaccinations were given already but not the chip which is the harder, the more fiddly, and the more painful for the dog.

4.     The worst is because it would be more painful for the dog, and the Austrians knew it, they were really freaked out and so the dog was more freaked out.  We couldn’t even give cookies because she had the muzzle.

5.     In turns out that both the Austrians have super big problems with shots and had already endured the dog getting like three.  They were already feeling pretty lighted headed.

6.     Although they have both had dogs before, they haven’t had big dogs like me and didn’t feel as comfortable with a stray like me.

7.     Seriously, the veterinarian only had one arm.  I’m not kidding.  He was the one armed vet…

So…they called me.  My stomach turned.  Damnit!  I didn’t want to be a part of this nightmare! 

I come out and give my advice:  We need two people holding lights.  We need one person behind Keksy so she can't back up.  We need one person holding the collar to keep her head still.  We need one person holding the fold in the neck so the chip can go in.  And then we need the vet.

We want to wait because Keksy is totally freaked out.  I advise against this.  She is freaked out now, I said, you should get it over with.  We need to get the muzzle off soon because she will need water and her heart is maybe already taking a lot from being so sick and malnourished and now so scared.  So I tell them, I know this is bad, but it will really be like 15 to 30 seconds of something more terrible than what you feel now and then it will be over.  She can't bite you so the only thing to fear is your own sympathy.  You can't take the pain for her, so end her fear as soon as possible.  We all agree.

I grab the scruff.  Heike is behind, Martin holds the collar, Nicole and Evode hold flashlights, and the vet uses his ONE FREAKING ARM to FUMBLE FOREVER with the syringe.  It wasn’t his fault, he did great.  It was done in about 45 (eternal Keksy writhing and bucking and screaming) seconds.

Then, of course, we couldn’t get the muzzle off because she was too afraid.  In the end Martin undid the buckle and she pulled it off herself.  Then, she got like an entire box of cookies.  Good Keksy.  She is now on her way to Germany and then Austria with her new found family.  If there were ever a dog that didn’t belong in Rwanda, this is it.  If there were ever a luckier creature on the planet to find such good people, I can't imagine…no…I don’t want to imagine it.

After traveling from here to there trying to find a place to live, the Austrians found a place that will accept Keksy.  The only issue is that there are some children at this place and, like most stray and afraid dogs, Keksy doesn’t like kids.  My dog also.  They lunge.  It's not whether they cause damage.  Usually it's just a dominance display and not real harm, but that is almost always enough for parents.  I understand where they are coming from. 

The latest update is that they actually found some lovely German girls here who wanted, together, both a pet and a guard dog and so have muzungu standards about keeping a dog.  They will be staying for just over a year.  When they leave they have agreed to “sponsor” the trip for Keksy from Rwanda to Germany.  All of the tests will then be done and Keksy should have all the right paperwork.  But, they can't keep her in Germany.  This suits the Austrians just fine because they now do not feel that they can live without her.  So, the Germans will sponsor the trip as if Keksy were their pet and then the Austrians will actually have a year to save up the money to pay for Keksy’s shipment over airlines.  It's really nice when things work out.

Also, the bunnies are huge and have now adult proportions just in a small size.  There is an agreement now between the house here and some farmer from the USA or something but who lives in Rwanda to take the bunnies away from here.  Not sure when it will happen.  Hope it's soon, those babies are really crammed in there.  They no longer live off the mother but eat real food.  It's super cute.  They are let out much more often so this increases the Narnia like aspect of where I live.  There are cute bunnies EVERYWHERE you look.


  1. I'm reminded of Monty Python's "Cheese Shop" skit:

  2. Unfortunately, I am unable to stream video here like ever. so I look forward to watching this when I get back home! though, this post does remind me of the spam diner skit: spam spam spam spam spam.